I never really liked him, and a rather hilarious MySpace battle has been had. Well, it's still going on.

I can't help but laugh when I think how stupid he is. Anyways, this all started when he left the following comment on Erik's MySpace: (Please note that quotes shall be in Italics to eliminate confusion.)

hey loser

i haven't talked to you in a long ass time. what is your stupid ass up to these days? oh by the way, sammi has a myspace now and so does jakie poo so you might wanna go to there pages and show some love cause you know you will always love those two, if not my sister will kick your skinny white ass

To which, I posted afterwards:

Ummm....

Bye comment below me. Bye.

A few days goes by, and all is well... But, then, Big Bad Jay sends the following MySpace message to me:

soooooo i was browsing around myspace wasting a little time and i saw that after i left a nice comment on erik's myspace cause me and him are cool i see the mature comment of:

"ummmmmmmmmm

bye comment below me. bye"

i just have one question for you man...

when are you honestly gonna grow up, get some balls, and actually be a real man for once in your life. instead of being a fat, ugly, republican who is against his own sexuality?????

that's all. have a nice day :)

Originally, I replied with:

Funny that you talk about growing up with a comment like that.

But, then I decided that I'd elaborate, and let out a few of the frustrations that I was having.

Ya know, I really would have liked to leave it just at that. But, for some reason I just can't.

Who are you to assume, after what you did, you and Erik are cool? Did it ever occur to you maybe you're cool because you are an hour away. Honestly, if you still lived around the corner, you think you'd be 'cool'? I don't.

Funny how Erik just didn't delete that comment... Huh?

When I 'grow up,' and I'll have you know that I'm probably 35 years older than you, mentally, what would you like me to do? Would you like me to say to you that you're a moralless, sleazy, douche-bag that ruined your own relationship by chasing ass.

Okay: You're a moralless, sleazy, douche-bag that ruined your own relationship by chasing ass.

I will go on to say that I never really liked you, and believed you to be as dumb as a stump. Based upon these latest exhibit, I'm going to say that things haven't changed much.

Would you like me to say it to your face? I wouldn't waste my gas to drive to Boston to see you. If you want to come here, I'll be more than welcome to honor your request.

What happened to take you so long, Mr. Maturity? We left those comments a long time ago. Building up the courage? Oh, well I don't see how any courage is required to send a nasty MySpace message. However, punctuation and grammar would be nice. But, I know that you is a kollege stoodent.

Again, to futher underscore your hypocrisy, how does a comment like, "instead of being a fat, ugly, republican who is against his own sexuality?????" inspire me to "grow up, get some balls, and actually be a real man for once in your life."

Alright, I'll give you fat. I was fat. I was huge. But, I lost a lot of weight. Alright, so I won't give you fat.

Ugly, well... if you gauge it by how many boyfriends I've had versus you, I think you are failing to factor in your inherent 'sleaze factor.' I don't really think I'm ugly, but if you do, and it helps you sleep at night, go right ahead.

Republican. Well, there's no denying that. But, why is that a problem? I bet you aren't even registered to vote, so shut the fuck up about politics and get off of the 'I hate Bush' bandwagon until you can give a half dozen reasons that you feel he is bad; off the top of your head. If you want to debate politics, I'd be delighted.

And, after thorough evaluation, I'm still not understanding... How do you want me to grow up? How do you want me to get some balls? Be a Man? Upon completing these requests, how do I exhibit them to you?

Tell me, Jay.

If you did to me what you did to Erik, you'd be lucky to be breathing, because I wouldn't stand for that crap, and I'd call in some favors. But, Erik is a big boy, and he can do what he wants. If he's talking to you, great. If I don't like it, great. If you don't like that I don't like it, great.

I don't give a fuck what you think. If you've even read this far, that is, of course, assuming that you can read above a third grade level, you want me to tell you off in person... Let me know. Maybe we could even do it over the phone. 413.297.4141.

Have a sparkling day! =D

He responded, as I expected he would. He didn't address any of the rhetorical questions that I had posed, most likely because he sensed that they needn't be answered. I didn't expect that from him. I also failed to use an 's' where one should most certainly be used, hoping to prolong things... Anyway, Notice how grammar is slightly improved, and the use of punctuation:

lol that was a lot of writing, as i expected, and of course as you can probably assume i didn't read it.

but i'll say this...i'm just an asshole. i know this, i accept this, and i live it. it serves me, it provides fun, and other people tend to like it to. but once you get a life of your own instead of living erik and dan's love life maybe then you'll get some ass...that is to say besides when you go to the local park for a "hot hookup."

I began to ponder about how people like him being an asshole... However, things were getting stagnant. Getting bored with the situation, I sent the following neutralizing statement:

I assumed that you wouldn't read not because you didn't want to, but because you were probably unable to do so, either through mental incapacities or chemical aides.

I don't live in either's love life. Dan's is to be avoided at all costs because its just full of scum bags like you. Don't be pissed because I told Erik about what you and Dan had been up to. If you think that's meddling in other's love lives, then great. Whatever gets you through the night. I happen to believe that it was helping a friend.

I don't know what you're getting out of hitting me below the belt, but you seem to be doing that a lot. It leads me to believe that you're still immature, you're still ignorant, and you're still just plain stupid.

I'm probably not getting as much ass as you, because... well, I'm just not that slutty, but I've been getting enough to keep me happy. So, once again, Jay. Fuck you and what you think.

Talk to you later, sunshine.

Normally, I wouldn't post any of this, but I know that it really makes Jay look like an asshole, which he so admits to being. Also, because I'm sick of hearing the question, "Oh, why didn't you like Jay?" Perhaps those people can be referred to this, and stop asking that question.

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