I want to fall in love.

But, don't we all? The time is definately here.

I want someone to hold. Someone to snuggle with while watching TV. Someone to cook for. Someone to care for. Someone to love me. I want to do absolutely nothing, but just be happy to be with him. Someone to do random and sporadic things with. Someone to travel with. Someone to surprise. Someone to talk to. Someone to do things with. Someone regular to sleep with. I want to be romantic with someone. I want to be flooded by that warm feeling you get when you think about that guy that you like.

I've had my hookups, but haven't we all? I'm getting tired of that. I'm getting restless. It's definately time for more of a relationship than what I've got.

I know that I've said this all before, and I really believe that it is cyclical. It's interesting that I only really started thinking about this after I had a conversation with my boss. It'd crossed my mind before, but I really thought long and hard about this tonight.

Garrett, or many of you know him through personal conversations as 'hot boss,' is interesting. Sometime's he's mean and bitter, and other times... well, he's just miserable. Some days are more tolerable than others, and Cool boss and I have come up with a system that we use to alert each other of his mood: Hug days and punch days. Days where he's nice and pleasant are hug days, and days when he's mean and nasty are, obviously, punch days.

He really is nice, but I think he's a little burnt out of his job. I can definately see why. On top of that, he's lonely. Apparently, he was involved in a really bad breakup, and just had a miserable summer. Sometimes he seems so sad, that I just want to give him a great big hug and tell him that everything will be alright. I really don't know why he's miserable... he's attractive, he's funny, he's mentally stable. It almost makes me sad that he's sad, because if he can't find anyone in Boston... I've got no shot at all.

I'm definatley not as close to hot boss as I am to cool boss. She's way more open, and fun.

As the great philosopher Doris Day once said, "Que sera, sera."

I'm doing horribly at school. I so want to drop out. But, I keep forcing myself to keep going, and keep doing the work. I totally hate it. Totally. I want to take an online class next semester to see if that would work, but I honestly don't think that I'd do the work. I almost worry about myself.

I'm not eating well at all. It's not because I can't... but because I don't. It's such a pain in the balls shopping for one person. At first I threw a lot of food away because it went bad before I could eat it. That, and now I'm eating mostly highly processed carbs because they're so quick and easy. And, my waffles. I love my waffles, and they have to be lightly toasted, drenched with butter, and swimming and syrup. Hello, diabetes.

Also, still looking for a 24-hour gym. Haven't forgotten. Honest.

The whole Michael thing is out of hand. I've decided that it just must be ended. I really have to move on, and I cannot wait for what I want out of him. It's going to make me miserable, and drive me insane. I have come to terms with this, and I really feel as though it's over. It's a very sad thing when the breakup lasts longer than the relationship did.

I've realized that I've spent a lot alotalot of time at work. I don't mind it, and it's a good thing that I like my job. Haha. But, it's just because I don't know anyone out here. I don't know where to hang out. I'm too young to go to the clubs. I'm useless as a teenager in Boston. That, combined with my obsession to be the best at whatever it is that I do, and to get the job done, means that Target sees a lot of me.

Well... I'm really tired. I'm going to bed now.

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