I'm doing pretty awesome if I do say so myself. Stop and Shop doesn't really suck as much as I think it does, and it really is motivation for college, believe you me.

Still no car, but Gram has officially agreed to 'start looking.' That's right. Stupid. She keeps changing her mind, and it's really pissing me off.

I got a 1910 on my SATs and I thought that was pretty bad. I really thought it was quite a shitty score, but as I've been talking to people, I've found out that it's an awesome score. I mean, it's only 79.5%. What the heck?

I hafta run and pay my $86754654 phone bill. :-DDDDD

byeeee.

¶ 15:01

Ya know.... I'd put money on this:

Doctors, in, Oh, I'd say twenty years or so, will come up with a new disease. I don't know what they'll call it, but it will be caused by a defficiency of carbohydrates.

In other news, my job really isn't that bad. I hate the job and the management, but my coworkers are awesome. (Not the crazy ones.)

I'm going to try this Ebay thing. Who know's? It could happen.

¶ 21:45

It's come to my attention that most of my friends think that I am this crazy sex-aholic that cannot think of anything more. That's really kinda sad, but I can understand why they see that.

I'm horny, I'm not going to lie, but I'm not more horny than any other 17 year old guy out there. I just express it more openly.

I really don't strive to hook-up with people, it's just that, for whatever reason, its easier. There is not commitment, no pre-requisites, and no drama. But, on the same token, there is no love, compassion, and feelings of attraction. It's lust... not love.

I really want to feel what it's like to be in love. Like, I see many of my friends in different types of relationships than I. Erik and Jay, and Dan and Michelle, have these connections with each other that extent beyond a physical lust, and into the realms of mental love. And, I'm jealous. I'm not, like, crazy -you have to break up and be with me because i want that- jealous, I just want something like that for myself.

Every once in a not so great while, I do find myself anxious. I find myself looking to hook up, and, lately, I've been more likely to tell myself 'no' and give myself a mental slap on the wrist. I don't fear STDs or anything like that. I always practice safe sex, and I don't do anything unconventional. But, I just need a more permanent solution.

It's not so much that I need the sex, but I do need the physical intimacy. I could easily get the same satisfation out of spooning with someone I liked, watching a movie, and playing with their hair or feet. I could, and I should.

But, I digress, people see me as a nympho, and, well, I don't deny it, but that's only one side of me. It's (excuse the comparison) very similar to a Dr. Jeckyll and Mr. Hyde scenario. I just wish the good doctor would come around a wee bit more.

I think I'd make a swell boyfriend, and little tricks like working in the word 'swell' help me prove my point. I seriously think I'm ready to commit to an equitable and caring relationship based on personality rather than penis, based on committment rather than cock, based on love rather than lust.

-----

I heard this in History today, and I just felt the need to share it:

"... It's like playing Battleship by yourself. You know you're gonna win; you just don't know which side. "

Ooooooh. Good times.

¶ 23:39

Long time, no post. Sorry about that.

Stop and Shop is okay, I met a lot of people I haven't spoken to in a while.

SATs tomorrow. I'm psyched. I can't wait. I have to get up early and make my way to 95 Grassy Gutter Road in Longmeadow. I've planned out an outfit that'll make me look hot. With hotness comes confidence, and with confidence comes... a good score.

Yep... can't sleep. Meh.

¶ 22:57