¶ 15:28

Have you ever heard the expression, "When it rains, it pours?" Well, who am I kidding. Everyone has. Provided, of course, English is your first language. If some odd occurrence English isn't your first language, and you are reading this, it just means that bad luck brings many things at once.

I went to the doctor in regards to my lump, and as of current, the initial diagnosis is a lipoma. Now, again, if English isn't your first language, or if have no medical background at all, I'll spare you the trouble of looking it up. It's a subcutaneous, fatty, generally benign tumor.

I have to see a specialist tomorrow. I will have more information tomorrow.

Fan-fucking-tastic. Let's add this to the pile of misfortune. Jesus H. Christ.

Additionally, I was contacted by one Mister Michael John Erickson. He asked if I had Dan's email address. My first instinct was just to exit the window, but I read and thought more about it. Alright, Mike, even if I did have it... Why would I give it to you? Let's think about this...

You left me to pursue a boy, Dan, who said, "Get lost." Then, you entertain Andrew Turner, while still stringing me along. Then, that ends, and you tell me we are going to go to Florida to see if thing's will work out. Then, you call me over to your house, to tell me it's off. I find out that this is because you started another relationship the day before.

Now, any normal can see why I shouldn't wish anything less than death upon you, but for some odd reason, I cannot. The last thing I want to happen is for my ex-boyfriend to get together with one of my ex-bestfriends whose previous interactions are the only reasons that they are ex's. If you can understand that, I'll give you a graham cracker.

And for Dan, well, I have plenty of words for him that I won't write hear. If he's curious, he'll ask me.

I'm back to the one word titles, because it fits really nicely. If one reads deep enough, they know that Mike loves volkswagens, and there is this really nifty volkswagen commercial with a techno version of Gene Kelly's Singing in the Rain. Rain is what's happening now. It's raining little rays of cancer. And, I don't have an umbrella. =]

What Would Wilferd Do?

The only thing that could make things worse right about now, is a letter from UMass Boston saying that they've denied my request for a dependency override.

¶ 15:17

It's been a long while since a good, long, heartfelt update.... I guess, having nothing better to do, I can do this now.

I feel like it's getting close to the point in the SKP show, were all the built up anger comes out, and we stop talking for a week. I hope this week happens over their Montreal vacation, because that means no lost time for me. And, about that, I really don't care that I'm not going. I don't particularly care for Canada anyway. And, to further explain, I hope it's all better by the time Chicago rolls around.

I don't know why this happens a lot, but it does. It's like cycles of the moon, or something psuedo-philosophical like that. Actually, no, it's more tangilble... like a menstrual cycle. Yes, that's exactly what it is. The the SKP show period; wherein bloody, pussy insults are leaked from every orefice, and everyone's cranky. Then, it's all better.

Anyway, that's how I feel. That last two nights we've hung out, it's been a KBash.

In other news, braces are set for departure. It always seems that I only have progress with one of the two doctors. The other doctors just kinda runs his forefinger and thumb over the equipment, and says, "See ya in a month. Do you need more rubber bands?" And, it wouldn't be so bad if the latter didn't say it with this ridiculous and sarcastic fat-toothed smile. I just want to put my fist through his beautiful, orthoperfect smile. The other, his twin, is very nice. He actually does his job. Props to him. Countdown to April 13th can commennce. Actually, it's been commenced for a few days now... whatever.

Tensions are running high with Grandma. It's the same old song and dance, but what are you gonna do about it. It was the last semi-sane thing that my mother had ever said to me: "She's going to hold that car over your head." And she does. What am I going to do about it? Give it up? PFFFFFF. No. I'll deal. I do appreciate everything she's done for me, and she has done a lot.

I've given up the pseudo-intellectual/Starbucks approach to one word blog naming. I ran out of cool-ish words. Or, I at least couldn't think of any at this time. That's how I roll; I stop in the middle of my entry and name it. Unless, of course, it's a power entry. In that case, I just type angrily until I run out of crap to type, then resort to naming and posting. The last entry was a power entry.

Friday I was supposed to go to Boston, but Aunty Chrissy and Leonard are up to their old (rich) tricks. I got a call on Wednesday from a giddy Aunty Chrissy to discuss the rescheduling of their trip. It seems that they'll be taking a weekend trip to Ireland. Pitty. She told me that she loves when this happens, and it usually tramples on my plans. She said, "Isn't it cool?!?!? He just comes home, and says that we're going away to some country for the weekend!!!!...!>" Yea, it is pretty cool....... FOR YOU. But, as I've always said, don't hate them... aspire to be them.

School. Ugh. The thought of it immediately makes me want to take a blade to my wrists, or sit in a running vehicle in an enclosed space. My aunt begged me to give up my petition, and just get through school. My acceptance is dependant on a graduation with at least a 2.0 GPA. As of now, on this school vacation, I'm not really caring about it. But, I know the SECOND, I walk in that building on Monday, I'm going to start again. School can eat my asshole for all I care. I just want to leave. I'm going to finish preparing my ACLU submission soon. Since all of that is on the school server, probably when I'm doing nothing in some retarded senior elective I took, Like Business Math, or Business Writing...

I hear Isadore Rosenfeld in the background. <3

I started a physical heath regimen. I take vitamin supplements and drink much more water, and I'm eating more healthly. It's phase three of five. The first two were gradual steps to healthier eating. The third is ... discussed above. Four is to join a gym. Five is to move away, go to college and stick to the first four steps.

College... so close, and yet, so far. As Einstien would say, "It's all relative, yaa." As Doris Day would say, "Que Sera, Sera." As Lucille Ball would say, "WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHNNNNNNNNNNNN." As Terri Schiavo would say, "--." Nevermind. I forgot where I was going with that.

It's not so much the knowledge that I crave, so much as it's the change of scenery. There is very little that I want to remember about my childhood. It sucked. It sucked far more than I ever told anyone. I try not to make people sad, because I can't stand being sad. And, don't think I'm going to get into it now. HAHA, BLOGGER. TRYING TO TRICK ME, ARE YOU?! But, no, it's too dark and depressing.

I have a doctors appointment at 8:45 Monday morning. Excuse absence. Effing Attendacne Policy. That's a typographical error but I like it. It's symbolic. The attendance policy is acne. Acne is ugly, it's created by bacteria and grime, and it's destined to explode. So is the policy. But, I digress. Doctors appointment. I need a new paragraph... please excuse.

So, I've developed a, for lack of a better term, lump on the left side of my ribcage, about five inches below my left armpit, and about three inches left of my driver's side nipple. About two weeks ago, the area was very sensitive and extremely painful to touch. It existed with little to no consequence, but on contact, heads rolled. About three days ago, to determine the cause, and to test my theory of cracked ribs, I discovered the lump. So now, I have to spend $250 dollars to go to the doctors, and then, get X-rayed if necessary, and then, have surgery if necessary, and then, take medicine if necessary. Questions arise as to how I'm supposed to pay for this. I'm too rich to get free health insurance from the government, but I'm too poor to buy health insurance. It's a cruel, bastard-ass world. I love it.

Insert clever segue here. I'm up in the air as to how the government should handle this. One could argue that the goverment should cover the basics of life, but then they'd have to provide food. It could also be counter-argued the medical coverage is not basic. The constitution does guarantee Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness. I believe that that phrase is the single most neglected portion of the constution, which is supposed to supercede all law. Many laws have evolved to cover and impede everyone's ability to live life, have liberties, and to pursue happiness. And, it's sad to say that most of this is caused by religion. People are extremely passionate about their religion, and will fight to death for it. And, problems arise when two religions with conflicting views come in contact with each other. Crusades happen. People will not accept tolerance clauses and laws that conflict with their religion, and then they feel that their goverment is trampling on their religion. It's quite a sticky mess. I don't know if we have a national religtion, but I bet we do. We need to get rid of it, and get a national language. I think we need to remove god from the goverment at the very least. And, that pisses off many people. I don't think anyone knows how to create a solution to the problem that will benefit all parties. Many have tried, and we're still in the same mess. Religion is like the MySpace to old people. It gives them something to talk about, and something to do, and creates drama for everyone.

Well, that's enough of that. Sometimes I think I should go into politics. But, I don't have the pedigree for that. My family is a laughing stock, and even though that shouldn't be a factor, we all know that it is. I Gtofi-ed. Back to International Business I go.

I'm going to have to learn Chinese and French. English is the business language of the Americas. French is the business language of Europe. Chinese is the business language of Asia. Chinese will eventually dominate the world.

My kids are going to speak different languages. I think it'll be cool for them. Alright, I'm done.

Oh, wait, not quite yet.

I went to NoHo with Peter and we had a great time. We saw TransAmerica, which was good. I didn't like the ending, but I never do... I did like the ending to the evening, though. =]

¶ 10:24

It's getting old reallllly fast.

I never considered myself a moral authority, but I've been seeing a lot of crappy stuff of late.

I can't wait until I'm done will all of this crap, and I'm off to university.

¶ 14:08

Long time, no post... so much to tell.

I'm done with/completely over Mike. Deleted from phone. Removed from Buddy List. Deleted all emails. Deleted all old MySpace comments. Gone. Just... No, I'm not going to go into it. But, he's bye-bye.

Upon making this realization that I've wasted so much on him, I was suddenly bashed upside the head with this overwhelming tidal wave of happiness. It was very much like the tsunami of '05, and I only survived it by hanging onto a tree...

Anyway. He's gone, and that's that.

As I was saying. I'm, quite simply put, happy with my life. I got accepted to college, but the attendance policy is going to kill me. I've already missed four days, and I've got what seems like an eternity in front of me. When considered in the overall sense, it's only a few months. I can do that, right? Now, zoom into my little life, and it seems like soooooo llllllllllllllllooooooooooonnnnnnnnnnnnnnngggggggggggggg. It's kinda like seeing the Great Wall of China from space.

I feel closer to Erik. I've been talking to him more than usual and it's good. I like our relationship very much. We are just friends, but he's awesome. He said it's kinda like we're in a relationship but not.

Phil's been kinda weird lately. He's just ... distant. I think he's really upset over something, a.k.a. James, and he's just smothering it. I really wish he'd talk to me about stuff like that. My relationship with Erik is completely different than the one of I have with Phil. I value them both very, very much... but sometimes Phil can be difficult. I can talk to Erik about anything. Any-fucking-thing. But, I feel as though I must be careful about what I say around Phil. And, if I tell him something or ask for advice, it usually comes to me in the form of 'I don't care.'

Meh. Another rock in the gravel road of Kris and Phil, I guess.

I also feel closer to Sam. When she isn't bitchy she really can be a lot of fun. Right now, we are writing a song about the attendance policy.

WEll, I must cut this short, out to dinner. Much love.

¶ 19:18