¶ 23:18

Hhhhhhhhhhhhhhokay, so. Does everyone remember that stupid Yeti sports online game? Well, I do, and the theme song has been stuck in my head for the past two days. Like, it just won't leave... I sing other songs, and I hear it in the background. It's crazy.

In other news, I went a grand total of 36 hours without sleeping, and I feel fine. I woke up at 10:00 on 1/2 and didn't go to bed until 22:00 on 1/3. I didn't even feel all that tired. I suppose it could be therapuetic in some left-wing way. Perhaps my shockers have aligned themselves. =]

I went to a school improvement committee today at 15:00, and it was a sham. Let me tell you. They spend an hour complaining about how kids today are being led astray by the media and by all this other stuff. Well, I'm sorry Agawam, but I think you should be focusing on getting a grant for a new school building, and not what's playing on MTV. How about we get everyone to pass the MCAS, and then you can complain about how MySpace is destroying today's youth. When you have solved all those issues, you ten people can take on society; until then... fix the school.

I was surprised how little insight all of these people have into the students minds, and they listened to me like I was the messiah. I don't think that any of these people knew a student who had ideas, and could express them in a professional and educated manner. We all know that our Superintendent doesn't even capitalize or punctuate her emails. Muahaha.

Oh, yes.... about that. I emailed the Super requesting that she cancel school on that day with a lot of snow. She sent me a reply about how she likes to always 'air on the side of caution' when it comes to student's safety. BTW, if you'd like it, her email address is maryczajk@aol.com. Happy Mailing. =]

Anyway, our 'homework' is to read over a packet of suggestions, and to brainstorm how to best implement them... That should be fun. I also plan to add a lot more items to the list... MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA. I love messing with the system.

OHHH. I almost forgot. I have Jury Duty on Tuesday 31 January 2006. I'm kinda excited. This will be the first, real, big thing that I'll have had to do as an adult. Go me.

I'm thinking of taking the GED test. It's a seven hour, $65 test. It could also be the priceless freedom from school.

Well, that's all for now. I'm off to mall.

¶ 18:15

¶ 22:16

New Year's was well. Resolution is the same as last year: join a gym.

Blu57nav (12:36:06 PM): It has to be over. I can't wait for you anymore, you hurt me too much. I still want to talk to you, but, I don't think I can. Goodbye.

That is to say that even if he decided he wanted to get back together, I would not be able to rationalize it. He has this complex that he has to make friends and hang out with everyone, which pisses a lot of people off. He absolutely had to be friends with Dan, when he knew that we weren't speaking. He had to be friends with Andrew, even though I'm convinced that they are more than friends.

Well, Mike. Have fun with Andrew. When you get tired of conversations about how cute you are, you're going to get bored of him. I hope he's learned to at least close his mouth. Andrew is an idiot. I know so, and you said so yourself.

As for this whole thing; I thought you weren't ready to date? That's why we broke up... You told me you couldn't handle a relationship. Then, you tried to start one with Dan, and here again with Andrew. Did you mean that you couldn't handle a relationship with me? If that were the case, I'd much have preferred you told me. This could have ended much earlier, and I could probably be over you right now. You tell me that you're not over me. Well, you are either quite twisted, or lying. I never took you of the twisted sort. I asked you a few days back if you still loved me. You said you did. And, then went out with Andrew.

You are so very selfish. I gave you my heart, and you trampled on it. Then, said anything in your power to keep me coming around to suck you off every once in a while. Well, Mike, unless you change... this is goodbye.

I will tell you this:

Eventually, if you pursue the 'hook-up' lifestyle, you are going to find out that it's very cold, dark and empty. I've been there, and it was so lonely that I decided to get out. All the sex will be fun for a while, maybe even forever, but there'll always be a part of you that wants someone to love; not a body part. You're going to want someone to love you, and not your fellatio skills. You won't find that over there.

I love you, and it's not because of your big dick. It's because you're a great person, and you're fun to be with, and you make me feel divine.

You're always going to be a part of my life, and hopefully only a memory. I'm not going to say that I'm always going to love you, because eventually, I'll bury my feelings to the point where they're gone, but I will say that right now I see no end to my love. It seems like it is going to agonize me forever. It brought so much pleasure two months ago, but so much pain now.

The thought of seeing you with another guy doesn't bother me. It's you being in love with that other guy, when I still love you so much.

I remember when it was fun. Just us, laying on the couch... me running my fingers through your hair, you falling alseep. You'd fall asleep, and I'd whisper into your ear that I love you, and then I'd gently kiss your forehead. I lied to you when I said I hadn't seen all of Practical Magic. I've seen so many different parts of it so many times, that I've pieced it all together. I just loved having you in my arms.

I wish this were another time, and I wish you were more mature. But, it's not, and I'll only have the dreams. I found that note of yours, again. I had lost it, but I found it again the other day. It was written on math paper, and folded in that way that you always folded your notes. I want so hard to throw it away. I know that it won't bring me any joy, and someday, I'm sure I'd like to have it to look back on.

Actually, no. I'm going to throw it away the next time I get in my car.

His sister tried to warn me. She tried to say that he wasn't good enough for me, and at the time I thought nothing of it.

I hate it. I hate how he is so content. I hate how he doesn't acknowledge that he's hurting me so bad. But, for some odd reason, I can't hate him.

<.<.>.>

Enough of the mush. Yea, I miss him, but it'll never work... yada yada yada. Great. On with my life. I burned a new CD of RENT songs, and I'm madly in love with it. I listen to it all the time. I have some club music on it, too. It's wonderful.

I decided against that Jag. It's pretty, but I don't know why kind of problems it has in store for me. I have all the warantee in the world on the Mazda. And, the Mazda gets better gas mileage. Gas is back on the rise.

I think that I've become lactose intolerant. The other day, I had a Milkshake at Friendly's, and I wanted to die. The Creme in my coffee has started making me uncomfortable, but I deal with it. The butter on my waffles every morning causes discomfort, too.

I decided against moving out. Gram has recognized that I am 18, and I can do pretty much whatever I want. She doesn't even bother calling me to see if I'm coming home for dinner. For now.

I need to apply for a credit card, so I can start building my credit.

There has not been a Hyre Update in forever. Well, we are working on finding a low cost mesh that can electrolyze a lot of water using dual circuitry to power large capacity engines. The ideal material would be platinum, but finding it in quantities large enough, and inexpensive enough would be hard. Stainless steel is our best alternative. It's properties are slightly different, though, which allows for less electrolysis than in platinum.

School is going well. I have to finish my App to Pace, and send that off. Speaking of which, I have to get that FAFSA taken care of.

I'm going to be a billionaire when my taxes come back!!! Well, not a billionaire, but closer than I am now. Haha.

Well, I've to get in the shower... I have work today.

¶ 12:35