I'm upset, and it's difficult to explain how it is that I feel. My previous blog summarizes how I felt, but it doesn't explain why, nor does it address the issue. And, it's not how I feel anymore.

It seems like every once in a while, we get into a fight. Not a "I don't want to go to Bertucci's tonight" type fight, but a bigger one - Like a "don't get pissy with me because you're incapable of telling me how it is that you really feel" type fight.

And these one's are unpleasant. Sometimes, though, they can be productive. I know that I'm lousy as a boyfriend sometimes. I know that I'm insensitive and that I am terrible at reading your coded, and hidden hints. Knowing this, though, and further knowing that I love you and don't try to do this intentionally, I assumed this type of lesson would be like sticking your finger into an electrical socket. The results are most unpleasant and you'll probably only do it once in your life.

It honestly bothers me when you don't tell me how it is that you feel. I don't care if you do it because it's polite. We're closer than that - we don't need the same degree of courtesy that we extend to lesser contacts. I can deal with your honesty in regards to how I look, smell, taste, or whatever, in fact, I expect it. The end effect is, it's not the truth; someone is going to get hurt. Stop internalizing it while I go around doing as I please because I think it has no consquence.

I'm sorry about tonight, roo, and I'm sorry for yelling. But, it doesn't change the fact that we need dialogue. Spare me the courtesy, and be the meanie that you're afraid of being. It's not going to hurt me as much as you think... not at all actually.

Call me, babe. :-)

¶ 23:47

He gets me so frustrated, I'm not sure if I can take it much longer.

Honestly, Matthew.

¶ 22:17

I stumbled upon this gem today: http://newsaxon.org/

What is this world coming to?

¶ 00:23