Blu57nav (6:52:54 PM): Hey.
gaymike78 (6:53:04 PM): Who the heck is this
Blu57nav (6:53:04 PM): You IMmed me a while back, and I missed ya.
Blu57nav (6:53:18 PM): My name's Kris.
gaymike78 (6:53:42 PM): Oh...Yah...
gaymike78 (6:53:44 PM): I know who u r
gaymike78 (6:53:47 PM): I sucked ur cock
Blu57nav (6:53:57 PM): ... really?
gaymike78 (6:53:59 PM): yup
Blu57nav (6:54:02 PM): Who is this?
gaymike78 (6:54:12 PM): Hahahah Im not that dumb to tell u
gaymike78 (6:54:35 PM): Are u that big of a head slut that you dont know who gave u head?
gaymike78 (6:55:09 PM): Lol
Blu57nav (6:55:13 PM): That's just it. I'm not, and I have no clue who this is...
gaymike78 (6:55:23 PM): Do u have a bf now?
Blu57nav (6:55:29 PM): Yes.
Blu57nav (6:55:31 PM): I do.
gaymike78 (6:55:34 PM): Who?
gaymike78 (6:55:41 PM): Whats his first name?
Blu57nav (6:55:44 PM): Umm. None of your damned business.
gaymike78 (6:55:54 PM): Its not hard to know what my name is
gaymike78 (6:55:59 PM): MIKE DAH
Blu57nav (6:56:06 PM): Well, thank you, captain.
Blu57nav (6:56:11 PM): But how do I know you?
gaymike78 (6:56:18 PM): beacause ur bf cheated on u
gaymike78 (6:56:19 PM): wit me
gaymike78 (6:56:21 PM): HA HA HA
gaymike78 (6:56:25 PM): I dident touch u
gaymike78 (6:56:33 PM): I fucked the SHIT outta ur BF
gaymike78 (6:56:40 PM): HA HA HA and hes damn Good!
gaymike78 (6:57:27 PM): have a good day! Buhbyes!
gaymike78 signed off at 6:57:46 PM.
gaymike78 signed on at 7:15:37 PM.
Blu57nav (7:40:13 PM): Who are you that you like to go around causing problems?
Blu57nav (7:40:45 PM): How do I know you? Do I even know you? How did you get my screen name?
gaymike78 (7:41:03 PM): U dont....NO....and HUM I DONT KNOW!
Blu57nav (7:43:34 PM): How do you know me?
gaymike78 (7:44:05 PM): Dident ur bf tell u to stop iming me
Blu57nav (7:44:16 PM): He might have.
gaymike78 (7:44:30 PM): I know he did...
gaymike78 (7:44:33 PM): be told me he did
gaymike78 (7:44:34 PM): Ha
Blu57nav (7:44:39 PM): Why won't you talk to me? You had no problem telling me that you sucked me off, so...
gaymike78 (7:45:03 PM): Are u jelious beacause Im TALKING to him and not to you?!
Blu57nav (7:45:38 PM): It's 'jealous'* and 'because'* and the answer to your question is 'no.'
gaymike78 (7:46:38 PM): LOL.....Yah u are....and DONT fuckin correct my English you fuckin Idiot!....NOW leave me alone...I am Talking to Your BF....TALKING.....About SHIT...My BF is on his way....and then I will not be TALKING to your BF anymore!
Blu57nav (7:47:05 PM): So, why did you say what you said before?
gaymike78 (7:47:58 PM): I saw your god dam name somewhere I dont remember where I was Drunk....and i decided to Im u and see what u would do...GOD It is cabbage night...Remember
Blu57nav (7:48:15 PM): How do you get off insulting me and my boyfriend, then getting upset when I try to talk to you...?
gaymike78 (7:48:42 PM): Your BF is actully being nice to me and talking civil YOUR NOT!
Blu57nav (7:48:52 PM): How am I not being civil?
Blu57nav (7:49:01 PM): I'm not even typing in all capital letters...
gaymike78 (7:49:10 PM): I AM LEAVE ME ALONE PLEASE!
gaymike78 (7:49:13 PM): THANK YOU!
gaymike78 (7:49:17 PM): HAVE A NICE DAY!
gaymike78 (7:49:50 PM): I think you need a little Trust in the people you date! Really.....
Blu57nav (7:49:57 PM): Excuse me. Let's not forget that you started all of this by saying what you said. I'm merely curious as to why you said it.
Blu57nav (7:50:09 PM): This has nothing to do with trusting my Michael.
Blu57nav (7:50:17 PM): I trust him with my life, but you insulted me.
Blu57nav (7:50:19 PM): And him.
gaymike78 (7:50:24 PM): I did not
Blu57nav (7:50:28 PM): Yes. Yes you did.
gaymike78 (7:50:35 PM): Oh Well Pitty on you!
gaymike78 (7:50:40 PM): go cry about it! pussy
Blu57nav (7:50:50 PM): I'm not asking for pitty, and you speak of being civil?
Blu57nav (7:50:58 PM): Why are you swearing?
Blu57nav (7:51:09 PM): Why are you so obviously upset about this?
gaymike78 (7:51:11 PM): YOU WILL NOT DO WHAT I ASKED YOU DO
Blu57nav (7:51:20 PM): After you do what I asked you to do.
Blu57nav (7:51:24 PM): And, I asked first.
gaymike78 (7:51:33 PM): no u dident I did thanks!
gaymike78 (7:51:35 PM): buhbye!
Blu57nav (7:52:00 PM): I find it interesting that you take everything I say to be an insult to you.
gaymike78 (7:52:12 PM): i just want u to leave me alone!
Blu57nav (7:52:12 PM): When, in all actuality, I've not yet begun to insult you.
Blu57nav (7:52:17 PM): You actually intrigue me.
gaymike78 (7:52:26 PM): thats good...see yah bye!
gaymike78 (7:52:29 PM): my bf is here
Blu57nav (7:52:36 PM): I've always wanted to see inside a sociopath's head, and you've given me a unique glimpse.
Blu57nav (7:52:40 PM): For that, I thank you.
gaymike78 (7:57:18 PM): Thanks for letting me have an AWESOME talk wit ur bf! Buhbyes!
gaymike78 signed off at 7:57:25 PM.

This made me laugh. I just think of the loser that this person probably is...
Ohhh. Stupid people are fun. =]

¶ 20:00

This is going to be one of those entries that no one really cares about, yet I feel like writing anyway. That, actually, raises another very interesting point - I write for me, not you.... WTF? But, I digress...

I was listening to one of my favourite songs just now, and I realized something. Elton John's Levon always struck me as a song about Jesus, and his desire to get away from home... wrong. While Jesus is mentioned, he isn't the subject.

Perhaps, if I were more observant, I would have noted the title, and it's potential correllation to the subject, but I'm not. =]

I was looking up Alvin Tostig, and I ended up here. Now it all makes sense.

¶ 11:50

I've really been thinking.

Most of our laws are based on a 'moral code,' but who is to say what is moral and what is not. I believe that the only hope for humanity to continue function is to - for lack of better terminolgy - just get along.

So, back to the original question. Who says what is right and what is wrong? Ignorant people would assume that society determines what is right and what is wrong, but those same people would admit that society is influenced by many factors (Media, being the number one response.) I think morality has its roots in biblical applications. Some guy that lived a very long time ago, said or did something that everyone worships still today. I just don't understand religion and the people who follow it. There are too many holes in the whole potential theory.

I believe morals are oppressive. The basic fundamental is nice, and even practical. But, ethics, aside, why can't I marry a man? There is no reason. By virtue of application, it should be protected by the constitution. It does say the pursuit of happiness. That's it. It's there in black and white. But that isn't the only morality hindered issue...

There have been, er, are events unfolding around my life that have really got me thinking. Our percieved definition of morality is screwing us. [Wait, screwing is immoral.] [[Before marriage anyway.]] [[[Too bad I can't get married.]]] [[[[I guess I'm screwed, too.]]]]

Suicide: Assisted or otherwise.
Why is it a crime? If someone, who, legally, is capable of supporting themselves politically, financially, mentally and physically feels that they'd be better off after dying, let them. How about the person that is so sick, have heard from countless doctors that there is no cure - let alone treatement - and simply wants to die with a shred of dignity? Why can't they be allowed to do that? Why?

Death is a natural process. People alter natural processes all the time. Why is this a special circumstance? It is true that death is irreversible. There isn't any denying that. You can't undo a quadruple bypass either. Dr. Kevorkian should not be in jail.

Prostitution:
Why is it a crime? Who said somewhere along the line that that was wrong? Here's a little culture shock for you. Girls as young as seven will come up to you in the street and offer you felatio in exchange for a few dollars. It's part of their culture and part of their economy. It's legal in germany.

If it were regulated would it be so bad? Porn is regulated...

Punishment:
If someone is in jail for killing fifteen people, why can't we kill them? More and more states are banning the death penalty because its supposedly uncivilized.

Lemme see if I can get this straight... We've developed a system that is so non-intrusive, painfree, and un-messy, but still effective, and now we're uncivilized. Here's a hint, when this person raped your four year old daughter, or killed your 80 year old father, they weren't being civilized. I don't feel we owe them the honour of being civil.

Statistics show that Un-Cruel and Usual punishment does not prevent crime. And, between you and me, prisoners get it pretty nice. Three square meals a day, they are kept clean, they have a place to sleep, and they get plenty of excercise. We don't even get that in the real world. You call that punishment? That sounds like a vacation. If you castrate a pedophile, they don't rape kids anymore. If you send them to jail, and extensive counseling, chances are they'll still rape kids, and it will have been a great waste of time and money. Of course, if you put a bullet in their head after all the appeals had been exhausted, we wouldn't be talking about this at all.

But, who is to say that their crime is wrong, you might ask... I do. Having sex with someone who is neither willing, nor sexually developed is unnatural and unnecessary; it does not occur anywhere in nature, and there are others.

Cloning:
Why can't I grow another me to harvest for parts? Why can't I create a genetic replica of me to by my child? People say I look like my dad, why can't my kid be me? Why can't we use cells for experimentation? What is so wrong with this, and who said so? Is it seriously someone who thinks that scientists are playing god? I think we all learned our lesson from Jurassic Park. People say that we can't create life. I don't understand. If I stick my penis inside a vagina, and I ejaculate semen, and she becomes pregnant and has a child, then we've created life.

Abortion:
Why is this immoral? Granted it shouldn't be an option to a lot of people. I think people should only be alotted two. One to learn their lesson, and one just in case. I feel that peole should stop trying to prevent youth from having sex; instead educate us of the dangers, but don't leave out the pleasures.

Blah:
When I think of America, I think of some overbearing soccer mom. Someone who is so hell bent on protecting their kids that she ends up hurting them in the long run. The mom that never let her kid fall off his bike, and learn. That kid that never learned how to behave in a social situation with a lot of people. That kid that never got to get all covered in mud and have a good time.

I think the government is so hell bent on protecting kids, that it's hurting us. I think we are producing a less capable generation. My great grandfather probably worked in a factory when he was 10. I'd kill for the chance. Now, I have to 18, and sign ten thousand forms, and do this, and do that. My father never had to wear an ID around his neck at school. My mom never practiced a code orange, or intruder procedure.

There are other problems: like ignorance. Stupid people are getting louder and louder and making sure their opinions are heard. I'm sure there will be someone who says that about me, but I write my ideas here, and I don't mass mail them to media outlets.

America was great. So was Rome. Rome would kick our asses if they saw what society morphed into.

Elton John says, "The times are changin' now the poor get fat..."
I say, "The times are changin' now the stupid make our decisions..."

¶ 20:11

Ya know what really grinds my gears???

The fastest setting on windshield wipers. I think it's too fast to use without me worrying that they are going to fly off, or even go unnoticed. I mean, if I am too busy seeing the wiper out of the corner of my eye, then I am not focusing on the lines in the road. Even driving around last night, I have not needed to use the fastest setting, and people who use it even when it isn't really raining bother me.

Back to you.

¶ 12:21

Have you ever had a day so bad, that you consider death a positive alternative? Now, this isn't to say that I'm suicidal, and shouldn't prompt any vigilante parent of mine to report me or have me seek counseling.

People just don't mind their own business anymore. It's a way of life, we all do it, and it's not right. It should stop, but I know it never will. People intrude in my life, and I intrude in others. It's quite a vicious cycle that we are all trapped in. That's my generic rant for the day.

Well, back to my introductory thought. The past few days have been ... stressful. To assign a single adjective that adequately covers the chaos to which I refer is impractical and damn near impossible. But, I digress.

It's not a well kept secret that I cannot stand living with my grandmother, and recently tensions have come to a head. These conflicts, when mixed with empowered and disinterested parents have erupted into so much more. Enough so that when I decided that I wasn't going to school this morning, a counselor came to see me.

Yesterday I tried to get dismissed. Tuesday, rather. I had my sister call and authorize a dismissal using the guise that I had a doctor's appointment. Some oblivious secretary, not connecting her to the vice prinicipal she should have spoken to, decided to ask twenty questions. She found out that she wasn't my mother. So, this same secretary, who I don't know, btw. [I work in the office, and this was a substitute secretary.] This secretary decided to call my mother, but got no answer. She then called my father, and asked him to verify the appointment. Now, if you don't follow what happens in my life, just know that my father isn't part of it. My clueless father, hasn't a single notion of any appointment and calls my grandmother. Now, everything that I had wanted to avoid, was brought full circle and even aggrevated by this nosy secretary. Needless to say, when I talked to Mrs. Conte, I got dismissed.

The school should understand that I don't live with either of my parents. They both decided that I don't need to live with either of them. Now, call me crazy, but when they kick you out, they should lose their right to control your life. The school doesn't seem to think so, and won't acknowledge any differently. The school is more concerned about red tape than the child's own well-being. If, by law, I can have any number of legally protected things done, about which my guardians need not be notified, why can't I leave school to do things without them being notified?

First, let me say to my father:
Look ya dick. You didn't want anything to do with my life, and I want nothing more either. Stay out like you have, and stop trying to make your new god, or whatever happy with yourself. You are one giant fuck up, and all you do is preach to everyone about how to make their lives better. Well, given your track record, I'd rather be lectured by a pedophile priest about virtue and the sins of homosexuality. I've come to you for help, and got nothing but fortune cookie advice from you. So, now, when you were called, you fucked shit up. You say you are just trying to help me, and I can't understand how that is. You move away, and expect me to call you, and get upset when I don't. You flip everything around so that it's always my fault, and do nothing but disparrage me. Everyone that I've ever spoken to about your stupid religion was right. You turned into exactly what they said you would. I can honestly say that I don't care. I want nothing from you, and if I ever speak to you again, it will be too soon. Get out of my life, and leave me alone.

To Society in General:
Screw you. If I were to murder someone right here, and right now, I'd be tried as an adult. Which means, I was capable of making the decision between right and wrong, and I chose wrong fully knowing of the consequences. However, I can't do any number of things. If my age will keep me from doing something, you won't hesitate to tell me, but other times, you will tell me that my age is the reason I have to do that same thing. You barrage me with stupid rules whose only seeming intention is to tempt me to break it. Why is it that when I turn eighteen, I miraculously assume this maturity during my sleep? Why is eighteen that magic age? Why don't we have special cases anymore? Why can't I be my own adult, when I am clearly more than capable of making informed decisions about the happenings in my life?

To Grandma:
Unfinished.

To Kodi:
Die. Just, simply, stay out of my life. Don't ever speak to me, don't even breathe the same air when you can avoid it. You are an evil little bastard that does nothing but cause problems for your own entertainment. I have never liked you. Ever. Since the day you were born. It's just the way it is, and the way that it's always going to be. I'm going to give you some of the advice that I keep getting: Don't try to change it, accept that it is the way it is, and move on. So, stop trying to be included in my life, and get on with your own. Leave me alone.

To Mike:
I love you. You've been that thread that I've been dangling from. You've been there for me when I've needed you, and you've helped me whenever you could. Without you, well, it's very safe to say that I would be much more miserable. As much as I hate being dependent on anyone, I feel as though I'm more complete when I'm with you. When I hold you in my arms, liquid passion surges through my veins, and all my sorrows melt into submission. You bring sun when there is rain, and happiness when there is pain. It's been one month and one day, and you've already improved my life so much. I know we're bound to hit a rough patch sooner than later, but, no matter what happens, I love you.

I just want my freedom back. I was cursed with some pretty shitty parents, and it's not anyone fault. I am not asking for any sympathy from anyone, and I won't take it. I've had to mature faster than my peers, and I've established my own limits to keep myself in check. Now, I've been forced into a system where an 80 year old woman suddenly knows what is best for me, and is forcing me to the limits which her wisdom deems appropriate. I feel like I'm being treated like I'm four.

Sam texted me the other day. She said, quite simply, "Im sorry." Phil also tried talking to me.

It's been a bad day. I'm tired of typing. I haven't yet said all that I want to say, and I haven't brought up all that I want to address. Bottom Line: I'm not finished, but I know that I won't finish this either.

¶ 22:28