01) What is your name? Kristopher Robert Kelly.
02) Nickname? Kris, KK, and Kelly.
03) What is your hair color? Dirty blonde.
04) What is your eye color? Grey-blue.
05) How tall are you? 5'4"
06) Do you have any pets? A mini daschund named Zoe.
07) How many people in your family? Too Many.
08) Are your parents divorced? Yes.
09) What is your favorite food? I like tacos.
10) What is your favorite kind of pop? Perrier.
11) Have you ever done anything against the law? Yes.
12) If so what? I'm not stupid...
13) Have you ever had sex? Yes.
14) What color fingernail polish do you think looks good on you? Clear.
15) Boxers or briefs? Commando. ROFL JK JK. Boxers.
16) Crouton or Bacon Bits? Croutons.
17) Salad Dressing? Nothing.
18) Lemonade or Iced-Tea? Iced-Tea.
19) Crushed or cubed? Crushed.
20) McDonald's or Burger King? McDonald's.
21) Pumba or Timmon? Timmon. I heart Nathan Lane.
22) Nice or Mean? Nice.
23) Rich or Poor? Rich.
24) How many people on your buddy list? 167.
25) What is your favorite color combination? Light grey, and sharp Orange.
26) Who is currently your favorite teacher? Mr. Burns.
27) Born in? Springfield, Massachusetts.
28) Grew up in? Agawam, Massachusetts.
29) Now live in? Agawam, Massachusetts.
30) Is your house usually dirty or clean? Which one is 'remodeling'?
31) Are you currently in a relationship? Free as a bird.
32) Do you speak any other languages besides English? un petite peut de francais.
33) Tell about the worst dream you've ever had? Jesus was back, and while we were chilling, he made a move on me. Then he had the nerve to tell me that I wasn't going to salvation with him. Bastard.
34) What animal do you think resembles you? Homo Sapiens. They're fun little creatures.
35) What is your favorite song? Dragostea Din Tei - O-Zone.
36) What is your favorite group or singer? Elton John.
37) What is your favorite cd or tape? Queen's greatest hits.
38) Home-Cookin' or frozen Dinners? A nice home-cooked meal provided I don't have to clean it.
39) Which parent/guardian do you get along with better or have more in common with? I hate my parents.
40) Addictions: SamGambo, H2O, O2. Can't get enough.
41) If you could meet anyone, dead or alive, celebrity or average joe, who would you choose? Jack Welsch (sp?) Former CEO of GE.
42) What is your favorite clothes brand(s)? Versace.
43) What is your favorite tv program? LAOSVU
44) Any tattoos, body piercings? No.
45) Who is your favorite actress? Detective Benson. =)
46) How much money do you have to your name? Not enough. =(
47) What is your favorite state in the U.S.? Hawaii.
48) What is your favorite saying? Sorry About Your Bad Luck.
49) What word(s) best describe(s) your personality? I don't know. You tell me.
50) Who is your role-model/Who do you admire the most? President of the USA.
51) Backpack or locker? Locker and trendy messenger bag.
52) Have you had your Appendix removed? Nope. I'm a full unit.
53) What kind of computer do you have? Gateway Laptop. It rocks.
54) Have you ever gone Skinny Dipping? Yes.
55) Oprah or Ricki Lake? Umm, Hello? Obviously Maury.
56) What is your sex? Hot and steamy.
57) English or Math? I hate, er... like them both the same.
58) Social Studies or Spelling? Social Studies.
59) Regular Coffee or Cappuccino? Cappuccino. Double Mocha, Grande Please. Whipped cream if you got it.
60) Baby Boy or Baby Girl? Baby Boy. Girls are icky.
61) Gay, Lesbian, or Straight? Gay.
62) Married or Single? Single.
63) Heaven or Hell? Heaven.
64) Church or No Church? NOOOOO CHURCH.
65) Follower or Leader? Leader.
66) Aggressive or Laid back? Both.
67) Do you make fun of people? As often as possible. It keeps ya young.
68) One Pillow or Two? Seven.
69) Favorite Movie of All Time? Beaches ::sniffffff::
70) What does raw pikachu flesh taste like? Like Chicken, of course.
71) Would you say if I promised you heaven? I already bought a seasons pass.
72) What is your general disposition? Apathetic.
73) What is your opinion of people? People are followers, looking for one to lead them.
74) What song best describes you? The 1812 Overture, the lyrics are perfect.
75) Lesson you will never forget? What are they gonna do?
76) If you were a hotdog, would you eat yourself? No... I'm gross.
77) How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie roll pop? One swift Crunch.
78) Favorite Artist? Monet.
79) Own or Rent? Own.
80) Van Halen or Van Hagar? Van Halen.
81) What do you love most about Kathy? WTF is Kathy?
82) Innie or outtie? Innie.
83) Political affiliation? Conservative.
84) Chocolate milk or white milk? White.
85) Favorite alcoholic drink? I haven't found it yet.
86) What do you drive? 1998 Chrysler Cirrus LXI.
87) Favorite obsession? Elton John.
88) Light or dark? Dark.
89) Favorite season? Spring.
90) Do you believe in God? Hell, no.
91) Do you believe in love? ... Just listen to the rhythm of the heart. Yes.
92) Links or patties? Eww... sausage is gross.
93) Scrambled or fried? Scrambled. With little bits of ham in them. A pinch of pepper.
94) Baked or mashed? Mashed.
95) CNN or Fox? FOX 4e.
96) Favorite toy? Computer.
97) Favorite smell? Apple Cinnamon Pipe tobacco.
98) Dinner or supper? Dinner.
99) Butter or margarine? Margarine. I hate my heart, I'm trying to kill it.
100) Favorite 007? Mike Myers. ROFL. I'd have to say ... Connery, Sean Connery.

¶ 18:21

I think that these numbered posts, well, faux-numbered posts are going to be how drunk I was on a scale of one ten in the post to which it refers. Get it? Good. So, for future reference, 1-10 means recent party.

Last night was three, though I think I told Sam six, but I think that had to do with my being in a three. WTF do I care, she doesn't remember anyway.

It was Sam's birthday party, and, as we all know, where there's Sam, there's liquor. So, we all went to her house and anticipated Ralph's falling asleep so that the reall party would start. The "fake-cover-up" party was a sham, we all played cards, and watched DickCream.com movies. We did make the best of it, though. OH MAN, WE POONED. YOU POONING POONER. POON YOU.

Then, Sam had an epiphany. Not the kind that makes a cold heart warm, but the kind that makes a sober heart drunk. She realized that there was no one up at JnC's, and that JnC could have boys sleep over. This is important, because, by sleep over, I mean pass out.

Somehow, we all make it up there at different times, and people who left after us seemed to have mastered the time-space continuum and beat us to base. Anyway, we were there. Jackie did her civic duty by playing Mom for the evening... Until she was too drunk to feel her face. That took about an hour...

Sam and Phil, on their way over, decided to fuck authority. Figuratively, of course. They're straight-edge. Obv...

WHAT ARE THEY GONNA DO? They decided that no matter what she did, her parents wouldn't be able to do anything about it. If she was having sex in her basement, and her mom came down stairs... What was she gonna do? If she was drunk off her ass, and her mom called her... What was she gonna do? Take away her cellphone? Then she wouldn't be able to get ahold of her. We also determined that if you're parents are divorced, you are much better off. Granted you don't get white christmas lights, but its a trade-off...

We played various drinking games, and those who had to leave left. We made one store run to grab some chasers. I couldn't do it. I just hated the taste of the alcohol on my tongue, and memories of X-night flooded back into my mind. During the course of the night, I was tempted to take a shot, but I just. couldn't. do it. I couldn't.

In addition to that, I now know why you feel drunk when you drink, and that's not a torture I want to willingly subject myself to. I'll wait until I'm stranded in the Sahara.

Ummm.... Oh Yea, I almost tried smoking last night. It's always been something that I wanted to try. I know its pretty negative, but it's pretty hypocritical to say it's bad (mmkay) without trying it. Phil was opposed as well, which, I guess, wouldn't stop me anyway, and I have no idea why I put that.

I'm fucking comma happy today. =P

I went to bed around two, and everyone was up and loud in the other room. I wasn't really drunk and I didn't really understand their humour. Someone would breathe, and it was HYSTERICAL. I didn't see it. Don't get me wrong, I had a blast, but I went to bed early.

Apparently. FUCKING. LMAO. Sam. Fucking. Peed. In their fucking closet. ROFL. I can't believe her. Even more funny, is she peed, and then climbed into bed next to me... She fucking pushed me out of bed so that she could sleep. We ended up sharing Cait's bed. Phil was pretty obnoxious. He tried to sleep with just about everyone, and he was loud and flamboyant. He broke some glasses. I think between the two of them, there's some expensive damages. I mean, Cait needs new prom shoes. LMAO. LMFAO.

In the most ridiculous item of the day segment tonight, there was a doggie blood drive in Boston yesterday. What the Gay? They're dogs. The blood will be used to help save other canines... Now with some comentary on this crazy situation, Fox News Political Analyst and Democratic strategist...
::off stage:: "BILL, GRAB ME A PACK OF NEWPORTS... YOU GOTTA UNDERSTAND"

The Job section is actually going well... I mean, I still don't have a job, but there is a wealth of available positions in the Sunday Republican. I just keep telling myself: JOB = JAG.

I have prioritized, but I don't know if I posted it yet. It's my three point plan for immediate success. Job, car, boyfriend. More specifically, blah jaguar blah. Jaguar was the answer to a question on The Weakest Link the other day, and it made me feel happy. =)

School tomorrow. =(

I have a research paper due tomorrow. It's about ten to fifteen pages long, and I haven't even started. Yay. I can't wait. Fuck.

When is the Pope going to die, already? Can't he just ask God to take him?

Anyway, I'm done with this fucking novel. Caio.

¶ 09:16

Dan, Phil, Sam, and I had a wonderful evening in NoHo. We ate a small nuage cafe. It was fantastic. The atmosphere was very contemporary metropolitan. It's a lot like our boston apartment is going to be.

Phil actually liked his meal, which, as he is conservative by nature, was surprising. Dan and Sam were also in love with their meals. Mine was good, but not to die for like dessert. We got all sorts of freebies, like little appetizers and strawberry-beet drinks. It was a 'Try new things' sort of night.

Everything was small, it kinda reminded me of that Mini-house Geico commercial. LOL.

We had coldstone after that, and I have completely run out of money. Being jobless no longer works for me. I'd always had a cushion, but now thats gone. I'm broke. I don't like it. I need job. I need Jag.

Anywho, Dan and I got a double chocolate devotion, and it was AWESOME. It is so good. I wish I could eat there everyday. OMG. So. Good.

I kinda feel bad for Dan. Everytime he spoke, Sam and Phil just laughed, but, to their defense, who doesn't know what a bulkie roll is?

Anyways, Sam brought us back to Phil's, and Dan brought me back to my residence. (In other news, I've decided not to call it home, because ... my heart ain't here.)

Dan went out with Michelle, after a small to do. On the way home, we were trying to make plans post Agent G's departure, and Dan chimed in: What about me? So we asked if he could hang out, and he told us that it depended on what he was doing....

WTG? Why would he have brought anything up if he was going to have plans? When she called in the car, or he called her (it's irrelevant) and he made plans with her. After he said... WTF. Whatever. Anyways, what he was doing turned out to be Michelle. So, Phil and I stayed in for the rest of the night because my mom was being wicked lesbian about the car.

To Dan's defense, I can really understand why he wouldn't want to hang out with the three of us, or the two of us. He is butt of every joke, and he has no slack around us. I really feel bad for him.

Anyway. I have this thing at the science museum from noon to four this afternoon. It should be interesting, and afterwards, I'd like to look at the art gallery. But, that's just my fag side...

TTFN, jerks. =)

¶ 10:23

The Jaguar was sold before I bought it. Damnit. Oh well, there are others. I'm in communication with several people to find me a shiny XJ. I found one in Ohio, and its black. Its the XJ6L, but that doesn't matter to me.

Anywho, none of that can take place until I find a job... which is going much slower than I had hoped.

That can be attributed to the fact that the internet hates me. My AIM constantly messes up, the online APPs get screwed up, and Internet explorer is acting up.

Argh.

In other news, vacation has been going well. I just want to announce that I love sleep, and I love being able to sleep 11-13 hours a day. I can't do that when school roles back around.

Sam and I are talking again. We are going to NoHo today.

I'm bored with this... bye.

¶ 14:13

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN... I HAVE JUST RECIEVED A NEWS BULLETIN.

I have just recieved official confirmation through the powers that be, that once I get a job, the Jaguar is mine. I don't want to get ahead of myself, but MAN OH MAN I'M FUCKING EXCITED.

HOW MANY KIDS GET A JAG?! SO FUCKING EXCITED. SO EXCITED. EXCITED. WOO HOO!

aklsdj
afg
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MAN OH MAN. YES! FUCK YEAH!

Jaguar XJ6. Smashing. Smashing.

It's that, but crimson, and not the VDP edition. I don't know what to name it...Basil or Winston? Any other suggestions?

¶ 16:50

I have always found the evolution of holidays quite interesting. Everyone knows the text-book typical story of Christmas, or St. Patrick's Day (which never lost the saint part of it for some odd reason) but I think Valentine's day is more fun.

Anywho, Isn't it interesting that Valentine's day is now a holiday for loving one another? And to think that all it took was a ruthless murder in the streets of Vatican History. It's odd how everything equals out in the end.

Nothing new and exciting happening.

Will you be my Valentine?

¶ 14:10

I just finished watching Anchorman, and let me just say... HIYO. Oh man, that was a funny movie. Very quotable. I think I'm going to watch AVP next... Indeed, moving along swiftly.

In other news, the job hunt is coming along. I get the Jag as soon as I get a job. I guess a Jaguar is enough motivation for anyone... Jobs are really limited, which sucks. I just can't wait.. in 10 months, I'm eligible for so much more. Another motivivational factor is that I have, for the most part, run out of personal discretionary funds... a wee bit of a problem.

School is going okay. I didn't do as well as I have in past years, but I passed everything above average. Not too shabby for not showing up half of the time and never doing any homework, if I do say so myself.

I'm calling my aunt tomorrow, which should be interesting since the last time we spoke she yelled at me for not jumping at the oppurtunity to work with Senator Buoni-whatshisface. I tried to explain my situation to her, but she just wasn't up for it. She still emails me all the time, and it wouldn't be like her to let something stupid get between us. I love my Aunt. She's the greatest.

I'm thinking of spending the summer down there, and, eventually, staying with them whilst I attend college. I'd have the best of both worlds.... all three really.

Anyways, that's all for now. Stay Classy, Planet Earth.

¶ 20:24

Mom made Chili for dinner last night, the leftovers of which I am eating now. Its really spicy, which is perfect. Something about it is weird. Mom put corn in it, and neglected kidney beans.

Its unique.

I have read everything that there is to read on a Jaguar XJ6, or, as the factory refers to them, the X300.

I told Grandma about it at an oppurtune moment two or three days ago, and she gave her usual 'we'll see'

Everyone, I repeat everyone, knows that when a grandmother says 'We'll see' with a smile on her face it means probably. I don't want to get my hopes up too much. I know its an awesome car, but insurance and repairs are going to be outrageous. All in all, I'm not even sure I want that headache.

Scheduling has started, and I am apathetic about next year. I really don't want to do anything. I just want a 7-period study. That would be awesome.

This chili is hot. Wo0o0o0o0o man... I need some oyster crackers.

Oh man, that Ben Stein kills me...

Its snowing in this neck of the woods, and its snowing big huge flakes. Its beginning to look like the remnants of a heavenly pillow fight: down feathers all over the place. The weathermen predicted a ton of snow for today, but, not for the first time, it didn't happen.

What now?

¶ 14:44

I'm watching House, my new Tuesday evening show. Its so quotable... I love it.

Grab some scalpels and settle this like doctors.
I'm sorry. I thought we were having a State-the-obvious contest.

Anyway, today was mediocre at best.

I woke up. yay.
I went to school. nay.
Dan brought me. yay.
First Period. nay.
We did static electricity experiments in Physics. yay.
Stupid braces fucking with my lunch schedule. nay.
I came home. yay.
Mom was here. nay.
Erik came over. yay.
We went to town hall. nay.
We went to the Casa de Jensen. yay.
Mom brought me home. nay.
Phil and I chatted. yay.
Forced to blog. nay.

Ben Stein is great.

Anyways, I don't know why my past few entries have been rather scattered and eclectic. It's just the way it is.

TIME FOR A GAME UPDATE. LMAO.

¶ 21:30

Thanks to Krodi, the entire network was crippled for about 77 hours this weekend. It all started when I realized that my DSL was going waaaaaaaaaaaay too slow. Like, less than a kbps transfer rate. Way not cool.

I called Verizon thinking that it was a hardware issue and to see what they could do. They didn't do much of anything except tell me I had a virus. I had Philip pirate me some state of the art AntiVirus software (and some games while he was at it), and then I installed it.

I had the three computers all on my desk, and I was installing, and scanning and playing games on three different computers at the same time. It was awesome.

Anyways, it wasn't a virus, just some malware which hijacked his computer, and he didn't want to say anything about it fearing I would destroy his life. Well, when it infected my computer, I naturally assumed, correctly as I later found out, that it was his fault. Some brand new eXact program or something like that and was downloaded from a porn site at 2:13 in the morning on the Tuesday January 25th.

In other news, Phil and I are having a great time. We have conjoined efforts to ascertain a job. So far, we have more fun just driving around and shopping than we do filling out applications. We did get a list of places where we can apply online, and I'm going to do that as soon as I'm done here.

I can't help but feel that Dan and I are drifting apart... I really hate it, and I miss him even though he's not really gone yet. But, he's busy with swimming and michelle. He tries to include me as much as he can, but ... Like Friday night we went over to Nicoles house. It was him and Michelle, Nicole and Pat, and then me. Needless to say, I felt incredibly out of place.

Anyways, new topic.

I learned how to drive a standard today. It wasn't nearly as hard as I thought it was going to be. Now I can drive any vehicle on the road. Go me.

I have to wear rubberbands on my braces, and not only do they hurt, they are completely assanine. I got into a HUGE fight with my orthodontist in the middle of the office. It was pretty funny as I recall it... Anyways, when they were doing my mouth, they failed to account for the growth rates of my jaw, which, coincidentally, have never changed or stopped for any reason, and fucked up my midline. So, now, I have to wear this rubberband mess, which is strategically placed in middle of my face. Its fucking ridiculous.

My asshole orthodontist told me that it would take about six months to correct. I called another orthodontist and he laughed. He said exactly what I was hoping for: Reen is crazy.

I've lost 19 pounds, which makes me feel good. Not only am I getting healthier, but this is the first New Years Resolution I've stuck to since... well... ever. I'm not doing anything drastic, I'm just eating right, eating less, and being more active.

I have decided and finalized mental plans to get a degree in business, get a great job, move to the country, or the west coast with my partner and have three kids. I want kids, so that I can give them an awesome life... the one that I didn't get.


JESUS the creative juices are flowing... here's another idea:

I want to start an artist colony. After I'm successful in the bussiness world, I want to buy a small town in Europe. I want to revamp it an turn it into a place where artists can be creative and not have to worry about paying the rent.

Now, I don't want you to think that I've gone soft. I would make them sign a contract which would essentially state that anything that they might create belongs to me. I will, of course, lease the rights back to them for a moderate fee. ::queue apprentice theme::

Oh man. Some commercials are pretty funny.

I think it would suck to get buried alive... almost as much as drowning.

I think I'm done for now...
TTFN.

¶ 21:44

I just filed my taxes. Online. For free.

woot.

¶ 16:00

Fuck you. I'll start posting regularly whenever I'm ready.

I'll let you know.

¶ 14:10

I've been guilted into writing a blog entry, and I guess that's fair because I've not posted here in a while.

I hate the drama. I just can't wait until I can leave. I want to just pick up and leave. People all over the place are acting strangely, and I can't tell what's wrong.

Am I changing to a point where the things that people around me do hurts me so much?

Are they getting stupid?

WTF is going on?

You are either with me, or against me. I hate to say it, but the middle ground has been ravaged by tsunamis, and there is no amount of foreign aide that can help it.

¶ 19:25