I haven't posted in a while, but I know that there are no followers. I consider this just an outlet for my emotions that I simply do not know how to control.

Anyway, JJB is coming to fruition, and I'm getting excited. I've the job 95% lined up, and I've been looking at cars. I'm also looking at BFs. I'm starting to kick it over in my head, and I think I am ready for a serious relationship. Most of my past relationships have been casual sex and I've never done anything seriously.

I do think I'm ready. I think I'm ready to take on a mature and prospering relationship. This, of course, will be infinitely easier once my braces come off. They are soo fugly, I hate them. They should be off by summer, so hopefully, next month will be my last. I count summer as when its getting really hot out, but giving the man the benefit of the doubt, June 21st or bust.

Sam, Phil and I have been getting more active, and reaching out to some of our mutual friends more. It's nice. It was Erik, Andy, Sam, Phil and I the other day playing frisbee. I'm SOOO BAD AT IT. I can't get it to go right, and when it does... it's weak. I'm working on it.

Erik, Andy, Cait, Dan, Phil and I hung out for a little bit at Cait's work after Dan and I went looking at cars. We didn't do anything, but just chat. And it was fun. Sam had to go to work... :-(

After that, Dan, Phil and I went and did something, and then we wound up at MP. We walked around and played pear. It was good.

It really is the simple things that matter most.

I'm really glad that Dan and I are hanging out more. We've drifted apart recently, and I don't know why. I'm happy that we're closing the gap. We used to be really good friends, and then... we just... drifted. We were both really busy with different things, and I'm glad our friendship made it through the proverbial fog. I'm glad that I have friendships like that.

Phil, Sam and I have gone through periods of months when one of us didn't talk to the other, but, we've always made it through. I love you guys. Well, Not just you... I love Dan and JnC and EnA and everyone.

Sam got a new James... This one is a JL model. She likes this one infinitely more than the other, and one can just tell that she is happy with him. She is happy when she talks about him. She is happy when he calls her, and she is just happy. She is changing for him, though. I know its a change for the better, but it's still a change. She has decided to end drugs and alcohol, and I know she's been trying, but now she really is. Anyway, we've all (Sam, Phil, James and I) hung out once and it was okay. Nothing amazing, but he's passed the initial tests.

Phil lost his James... Not that anything more was expected. It came up in the park last night, that James has a new object. JS or JQ or something queer. I felt kinda bad for Phil, but he knew that nothing would EVER come of it. That doesn't mean that he didn't want something to come out of it.

It seems that everyone has had a James, but me. LOL. Who knows? Something could be right around the bend.

Ummm....

Well, the other day, I got a fortune cookie that did, if not predict my future, raise my spirits. It told me that I would someday walk on the soil of many countries. That, really, just... I loved it. I love traveling, and now I guess I have something to look forward, too. Not that a piece of paper wedged in a styrofoam cookie can, in any way, predict the future... but it's cool to think it might.

I stayed home today, the day before a week vacation. Phil was going to sleep over, but I told him that I was going to school. When my alarm went off this morning, I was like ALKSJDLK FUCK YOU ALARM, and it was shut off. I'll miss more MacBeth in English... :-((((((((( Just fucking kidding.

I have to clean my room... it's soooo messy; I've said that a few times but this time is THE time it actually gets done. I have a haircut today.

More to follow.

¶ 09:12

I have a lot to say, and I have to review a lot of events that happened over the past couple days. This is going to be a large entry, er... actually several entries. I'll probably get bored writing it, and not finish some of them.

EASTER:
Easter was okay, we had an amazing meal that my Mom cooked. It was ham and turkey and home-made everything. It was good.

After that, I went to pick up Phil. I guess that his family doesn't do anything for Easter, and I wanted to hang out with him. Sam was working and, believe it or not, Dan wanted to do something. So, we decided to go pick up Dan, have Phil shower at his father's, and go to see Sam.

That was a good plan, and pretty possible. Well, my dad called when we were bringing Phil to shower and invited us to his Dinner in New Haven. Dan couldn't go, and Phil and I wanted to ... So we dropped Dan back off and headed to NH. I feel bad that Dan couldn't go, but he hadn't had Easter dinner yet. Commentary below.

WATSON:
The next day, Monday, I went to school but was dismissed early. I couldn't go to robotics because I didn't put a in a full day, so I planned to hang out with Sam and go to the Jensen's for 24. Sam recalled that she had Fiddler rehearsal, and she had to go to the high school for half-past five.

Well, Sam was dissappointed that she was going sober, and that Megan had not called her. Sam's phone was destroy, so that was probably the reason. Well, we got there early, and then we left to run to Megan's for something.

We came back, and Sam went on stage and I went to the sound booth. I was helping out with Erik and Andy with sound for about an hour when I decided to sit in the seats and watch rehearsal. I was there for a half hour before Ms. Watson came over and told me to leave. I refused, she tried to have me arrested... I'm tired of telling the story. You all know it anyway.

After that, we went back to Meg's house for a little bit until the Jensen's. 24 with Erik, Jay, Jay's Ashley, Andy, Mr. Jensen, Sam and I was a boring episode... I think. Anyway, after all was said and done, Sam threw up and we had a play it off as she was sick. Fun times, but I guess she made a mess and someone had to clean it up.

We are leaving and Sam tells me to drive... Just drive, and to disregard destination and fuel. I drove for two hours with her passed out next to me. I listened to her Elton CD1 1.5 times. I drove up to NoHo and back, and I just drove around town for the second half of the 'trip'. I finally told her that I couldn't drive anymore and I was simply too tired, and that I had to stop.

She left and I came in. I go up to brush my teeth and whatnot, and I come back to my room. I put on my pajamas, and there is a knock on my backdoor. It was Sam. She got a flat tire up near the Middle School and drove back to my house. We were going to go to breakfast..........

BOSTON:
I woke up Thursday morning, and I found Phil sleeping under my desk. I went back to bed, started debating whether or not to go to school. My alarm went off, and I did plan to go. Phil called Dan and had him not pick me up.

We decided that since Sam doesn't go to school for a while that we could go to Boston that day, and --- I'll finish this one later.

BURN:
Phil and Sam were being assholes on the way to Jackie and Cait's. I left. They are probably mad at me for not sucking it up and dealing with it, but I'm mad at them for being such jerks. I love them so much, and its a fucking knife in my chest when they do something that they know hurts me. It's worse when I tell them it hurts me, and they keep doing it. It's even worse when they can't even apologize without doing it again.

I told them a thousand times that I hate it. It doesn't matter what it is. If Sam doesn't like something, we stop talking about it. If Phil doesn't like something, we stop talking about it. If I don't like something, they start talking about it.

We have fun, and we do make fun of ourselves. But, there are lines that we usually don't cross. They crossed it, and then trampled on it by telling me that I was an idiot for getting upset about it.

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I started this at 8:33 this morning... It's not 11:29. What the fuck did I do? I know it didn't take me that long to write it.

¶ 08:33