Anything that I could possibly type out here wouldn't be anything new. It'd be a paraphrase of something that I'd already said, or rewording of old thoughts. The simple, elegant truth is that I"m still in love with this kid. There are many more questions as to why, this kid, is causing me such pain, as to why I haven't moved on, as to why I can't hate him.

I miss him. Every morning, even still today, I check my phone to see if he's called. Everytime I find a missed call thoughout the day, I hope ti's him. Everytime I have a voicemail, I yearn for it to be him. He is always on my mind. There was a period where I thought I was starting to get over him. That periods gone, and all I can think about is him.

I was looking at the stars last night while I was wating for a ride to go somewhere, and I remembered all the times we've looked up at the stars. I remember all the good times that we did have, and I day dream about the times we should have had. I can't help but wonder what woudl have happened if he never got into that car accident...

My feelings for him are just as strong as the day when I first told him that I loved him. They've ebbed slightly, but they always come back, and, they are back. With a vengenance, it seems.

On the plus side, I am over the saddness. Well, not totally, but I don't cry about him anymore. I think about the good times that we did have, and I think about stuff we've planned but never go to... I dream about what might have been. It's all good stuff. I'm not so depressed over it anymore.

It's far too late for this. To bed I shall go...

¶ 23:33