Yesterday was a bad day, and I'm really starting to hate the bad days. Worst Thanksgiving on record, big fights with Grandma, and Car accident. Sam and Phil were being jerks, and I miss Mike more and more everday.

Thanksgiving sucked because Dinner was late, there was someone there whose name I didn't even know, and everyone was on the desert phase by the time we got there. All the food was cold. It was Uncle Dean, Natalie, Grandma, Kodi, Ashley, Mystery Man, and me. That's the smallest Thanksgiving I've ever had. Too bad that my family decided to melt down. Lol. No one even heard from the Bators...

Grandma keeps treating me like I'm two. Fights with grandma are arising more and more steadily given our old and new opinions. She's 80 and she's used to things the way that they were in the 50s. Unfortunately, I'm not. Conflicts arise.

Car accident was on the corner of Coyote Circle, and some N street. While trying to make a right hand turn, my car slid nicely into a granite curb on a patch of ice, pushing the driver front wheel back about 7 inches. In doing so, it damaged the rim, took out my front suspension, crushed the exterior paneling on the drivers side, and crumpled the unibody. I estimate $4500 in damage.

The car was towed to Wizard's, where my uncle does some body work. I hope I can get it back soon. I don't even think that the insurance company is open until monday. Wizard can't even touch it until the insurance company does their ... whatever they do.

Sam and Phil were being jerks. All they were doing before the accident were badger me about my finances. I'm sorry, but my finances are nobody's business but mine and IRS. Phil was going on and on about how I'm not allowed to keep anything from them because we are best friends. Sam was going about things in a more mature, however, no less-invasive manner.

I miss him more and more. Maybe it was just the accident last night. Even though it wasn't as severe, I really wish he was there for me, like I was for him... I haven't spoken with him in such a long time. I haven't seen him in such a long time. I haven't even IM'd him in such a long time. Sam and Phil are no help either. If it were open and shut it'd be much easier. Him telling me that he still loves me doesn't help. It makes things worse. I'm living my life with the fleeting hope that someday, he'll call me. Ask to see me. Something. To be in his arms again would be a gift.

As I write this, I look at the gimp thing. The filter paper thing got all wet and messed up. I threw that away when I was trying to be mad at him. I feel if I were mad at him, this process would be so much easier. But, I can't blame him. I can't do that.

I hate drama. That's no secret. I feel like I'm swimming in drama; that my life is a big ocean of drama. My plane has crashed, and I feel like I'm swimming in the ocean. As the days go by I'm getting more and more tired. I'm eventually going to drown in it. The whole Mike thing is just a buildup of drama in it's fluid form around my heart. My heart aches as the fluid builds up. Eventually, it'll stop beating all together. That's how it feels right now.

He is my first true love. I would say that he was, but I still love him. I'm still in love with him.

I've made up my mind that I will get over him if that's what he wants. But, I have no way of knowing what he wants. Bleh. I hate drama.

¶ 11:48