After Wal-Mart,

My car was puked in, and completely gross-ified. Matt was taken out for his birthday and, of course, drank too many shots with his friend. He puked his guts out while he was waiting for me, and I thought he had gotten it out of his system. He was crying and being wholly regretful. It was actually funny to watch. I took a video, and just laughed. He got sick out the window and all down the side of my car. Then, again. And, again. Then, it started to not go out window. It got across my window, and it began to smear every time the window went up or down. Then, one time on the highway, he tried to throw up out the window; however, because of the wind, it call came back in the car. He was covered and it was everywhere. I just laughed, knowing that it could be taken care of.

The next morning, I scrambled to find a detailing place to scrub it and steam clean the carpets and condition my seats, all the while trying to get ready to run to Hartford to see the Transiberian Orchestra. It turns out that many of these places aren’t open on Sundays… who knew? I find a place, and after dropping of Matt and Quincy scurry back to Cambridge. He was going to shower and meet me back at the Galleria.

Come to find out, despite living in Boston his ENTIRE life, he doesn’t know how to get there. I’m still a newb when it comes to directions in Boston, and coordinating my pick up was more like an Abbott and Costello skit:

Me: Where are you now?
Him: Outside the building. Right in front.
Me: Which side, Matthew? There are four.
Him: The side with Macy’s.
Me: Macy’s is on a corner, dear. Which side? Where are you in relation to the Royal Sonesta?
You get the picture… Chaos.

He still hadn’t eaten, and I was trying to get him food in the mall while directing him through an area that I don’t know. He kept reading me the names of streets, and I kept reminding him that I didn’t know street names. For such a queen, you would think he would know how to get the stupid Galleria. In a conversation, I swore he said that he’d been there and didn’t care for it. I guess I remembered wrong.

After he picks me up on the other side of the divided highway next to the mall, which I sprinted over in the hurricane, we got on the road a bit later than we hoped. It was then we encountered the worst holiday traffic I have ever seen. I didn’t even consider the traffic when I bought the tickets, and of course, opted out of the insurance. Matt’s still hung over from his birthday night out, and I’m just laughing at how wrong things have gone. Not to mention, it’s POURING.

After about an hour and a half and only getting as far as Worcester, we turn around. We get in my driveway, and realize that my house keys are with my car keys – getting detailed. Fortunately, my roommate was home and was able to let us in. We chill at my place for a little bit, and then decide to go get my car at the Cambridgeside Galleria. Halfway there, we realize that I left my spare key back at the house and still do not have my house keys. Only this time, no roommates are home. I get in through the pouring rain in the basement and go up the backstairs and realize how insecure my house really is. Then, we go back to the I leave Matt, and run through the rain into the depth of the parking garage.

Then, I realize that I left my wallet in his car. So, I try to call him, but I have no signal. I’m looking for a place to make a call frantically so he doesn’t get on the highway to go home. I finally squeeze out a text message – and (you’ve probably noticed how things seem to be getting worse) when my phone dies. Now, I have a charger in my car, but where my car is parked… there is no signal. And, I can’t get out of the parking garage, because I have no cash. So, he texts me back saying he was “where he was before.”

So, I go through the garage, out into the rain to where he just dropped me off. He was no where to be found. I walk down the street a bit in each direction, thinking he might be at another garage entrance, and just confused. Nope. I’m soaked. I’m pissed.

I go back through the garage and get back in my car. Please keep in mind that my car has a low battery and needs to be started when ever I use my phone charger. I drive through the garage looking for a spot near where the signal god blesses me. I call him. I learned at this point, that he was across the street at the Royal Sonesta, and that ‘before’ really meant ‘way before, earlier today.’ Sigh.

I’m slightly less amused at this point, and his innocence has gone from being cute to being god damned annoying. I let him know. He wasn’t acting out of spite and I did feel really bad for loosing my temper.

I got home at about 8PM and locked myself inside with a bottle of wine.

¶ 22:08